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We all want to be able to connect with each other better but often our anxious thoughts can get in the way of having meaningful ongoing relationships.
Today I want to briefly share 5 things that can get in the way of us having those meaningful relationships that we so desire. You might be able to identify with one or all five.
1/ The need or desire to be in control in our relationships. This can be caused by the fear of not wanting to get emotionally hurt. We put up barriers so people cannot get too close and this we believe will protect us.
2/ The desire to be perfect. The problem is no one can be perfect in every way and this need to be perfect can flow over into what you expect from others, and this doesn’t end well.
3/ The need to be right or having to know the answer to everything. However, when you don’t know the answer you can feel out of control, which can cause negative emotions and feelings affecting those around you.
4/ Always needing to help people or fix their problems. This desire to feel needed by others, can however burn you out and, in the end, you can’t help anyone.
5/ The need for approval from people by trying to please everyone. Can I say that this is not possible. And when it does not happen, it can cause you to feel worn out and exhausted.
With all five, anxiety is behind each one. The “what if’s” get in our head and fear can set in. What if I am not in control, what if I am not perfect, what if I don’t know the answers, what if there is no one to help, and no one thinks I am worthwhile, and what if people don’t approve of me. Our minds can run wild with negative, anxious thoughts.
If you can identify with any of these. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that I don’t need to be like this. Connection with people (Loving people) is more important than acting in these ways.
How does this work?
It starts with knowing that God loved us first! We start by knowing that our Creator God is love and He loves us intimately and personally.
The Living Bible puts it this way in 1 John 4:18-19, “We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; His perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what He might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what He might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that He really loves us. 19 So you see, our love for Him comes as a result of His loving us first.”
When we know we are loved by God, fear disintegrates. We don’t have to strive for God’s love, He already loves all humanity. What we need to do is accept the Creator of the universe as our own personal Lord and Saviour. His perfect love castes out all fear and all anxiety. How do we know God loves us? Because He died for all humanity. He died for each one of us personally. We are loved by Our Lord and Saviour.
When we know this as a reality then we can do the following….
In Matthew 22:37, Jesus says, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
And then Jesus continues by stating in Matthew 22:39 that we can….“Love our neighbour as ourselves.”
And we will start to experience healthy relationships. Those five things will be less prominent and your love for God and connections with others will flourish.
If you would like to discuss this with us here at Affirm Life Church, please leave a message with us and we will get back to you.
At Affirm Life Church, our community is committed to walk alongside you as you discover the truth of God's Word and experience the life-giving power of His presence.
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